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That's When I Learned It Never Gets Better

by Pity Genovese

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1.
I can't keep fucking up this week cause persona 5 is out soon I fully intend to have a 40 straight hour play through This week I'll break my bones or cut my brake hose, I don't know. Cause I don't feel so much like me more like some broken, fucked up TV I can't keep leaving trash out on the porch. Cause that skunk's really cool and all, but what if it's too much for it to stay outside eating garbage all night and he sprays us first thing in the morning? his week I'll break my bones or cut my brake hose, I don't know. Cause I don't feel so much like Corbin, more like broken tile flooring And I don't feel so much like Dylan more like cracked acrylic ceiling and I don't feel so much like Nathan more like a hole in the wall shaped like Alabama
2.
I hope I get to know you before the bombs drop and everyone's too desperate I hope that when the end times come, I know beforehand that that's my final exit And if cannibalism sets in and we all go full thunderdome, I'd rather be an amputee with you, than be alone. There's a tweaker in the supermarket bathroom, with the stall door locked They carried him out in a bodybag when a man walked in and decided to call the cops We can weep for his lost innocence, but I think that instead, We should go home and have a Lean Cuisine on my bed. This land is your land, this land is my land from the gerrymander to the black tar heroin from the blind disciples to my restless agony this land was made for you an me This land is yours, this land is mine This land is one day going to unwind and when that day comes, you people all will see this land wasn't made for you or me We can count all the infections we're exposed to and hope that we get lucky Let's hope that we get old diseases with long ass names because I think that'd be funny We'll make light from licking batteries until we lose our spark and we'll hold hands and watch the mushroom clouds in the park We'll blind ourselves with ignorance until our world goes dark and we'll hold hands and watch the mushroom clouds in the park
3.
The coffee shakes have taken hold of you do you think your body can really handle that? The weather outside's getting even worse If you want the truth, then I should tell you that I think it's gonna rain all week I think it's gonna rain all week I'll break into your father's trailer and get your jewelry back And I'll meet you on the bad side of this cross-county railroad track Since abandoning my dreams never really caused a fuss I'll give up on myself so I won't have to give up on us Will anybody ever understand? Did they take away your Ritalin? You'll have to find some other way to use your time Maybe rob a couple clergymen The sun's coming out, I think The sun's coming out, I think Please add some reinforcement to your taped-on fragile wings Because you're going down like Icarus or Saint Augustine If I were a dead possum would you cut my babies out If I promise not to be the things that I write songs about?
4.
Casey I'm sorry for killing your cat when I backed out of your driveway At your eighteenth birthday party. I hope I didn't ruin your big day If it makes you feel even worse, I thought I'd never see you again but you're sitting in the fucking lobby of this Flint, Michigan Holiday Inn. I feel like a fish on a leash I haven't slept in days, hell, I haven't slept in a week. But I'm becoming more sure If you still hated me, you'd be throwing bricks at my door My guilt is weighing on my liver My guilt is weighing on my liver My guilt is weighing on my liver I should drink to calm it down I'll raid my mini fridge I'll mix my drinks up strong, but I'll try not to binge I'll lock myself in my room Just like a prison cell, or a republican womb My guilt is weighing on my sanity My guilt is weighing on my sanity My guilt is weighing on my sanity Just call me Casey Anthony My guilt is weighing on my sanity My guilt is weighing on my sanity My guilt is weighing on my sanity Just call me Casey Anthony
5.
6.
You tell me that it's over you tell me not to try But I knew how this would end, ever since I saw that fucking foreign guy It would end with blood, dripping from the ceiling with my hands locked up tight it would end with fire and brimstone down in hell or in west virginia or somewhere Snow comes for the second time this month Throws its weight over everyone But I'm grateful for the chance to stay inside the chance to hide away from prying eyes You flew away to Spain with a guy who never lived there anyway and it would end with fire and brimstone down in hell or in west virginia or somewhere
7.
I am sitting in the dark alone Cuddling with my grandfather’s shotgun And I wish the wood and steel and plastic Had a pulse like yours I am waiting for the thief in the night Might not be coming, but I miss him every day It took a year until I got the message I didn’t kill me because I had the choice I just can’t stop moving I only want to leave I’m breathing in and out too fast I wish I could breathe No one look in my direction I’m all alone in a crowd Everyone shut the goddamn fuck up The silence is too loud I think there’s a stone pressing on my chest More weight, more weight, more weight
8.
Cling to pale white sands of the Caribbean Check my vital signs, am I alive? Wheeze and gasp for air, but my lungs just can't hold it in Tourists watch as my death rattle sounds Cut my ivory horn and wear it well Put it on your mantle with your trophies Apex predators surround my naked, feeble form Helplessness is not a new disease Brought toward the threshold of sweet oblivion Flesh torn from my bones with shotgun shells Carrying some letters of loved ones to the midwest Spiral down and die among my friends Spiral down and die among my friends
9.
You snuggle up to a seasonal new partner; so why should I wanna bother thats what I would've been Give me half a chance and I'll offer all you want deliver on much less than that I've a record in a data base that follows me around preemptive strikes on little peaceful towns I wanna live in If your head was on my shoulder in the darkness of backstage we we'd both be gone soon after anyway The third measure of the Schumann is where I lost it pianos fooled rows A and B to thinking there's a quake. That's what you get when you grab a bunch of white hairs who are frankly staying out too late The electrical discharge that releases with how are you could power six Chicagos but never tear me down if your head was on my shoulder in the darkness of back stage well we'd both be gone soon after, anyway
10.
Felt a pain in my abdominal wall As I launched my tennis shoes down the hall Think about my good friends back in Chapel Hill Throw up black coffee and Benadryl My head loses vital pressure as it circles the drain Brace the wall for support as it circles the drain We sit together in your squalid room Kept as cold as a private tomb We listen to the scriptures of the weather forecaster Try to find self-improvement in the holes of your plaster But fixing yourself can be pretty fucking hard Yeah fixing yourself can be pretty fucking hard Reap the seeds that we've both sown I'd rather die early than have to atone Won't be too much longer til the heat dies down You'll get your wish, I'll get out of town Maybe I'll come back to the place where I thrived The winter's gonna kick my ass if I make it out alive

about

Kew Garden Records

credits

released March 1, 2018

tracked/mixed/mastered: Corbin Lenard
assistance from Hunter Boyer on [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9]
Lyrics:
Corbin [1,6,9]
Dylan [2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 10]
Nathan [7]
Andrew Henry played drams on [1, 5]

Music by all of us and written about a bunch of stuff from last year
Thanks to:

Friends for their support, care, and patience
(ex. Andy Hank, Nic Eichen, Swan Askew, Davo Murray, Court Cath, TeMaViSe, Eddy Rojas, Ashlyn Whitesell, Hunter Boyer, John-Jon Stych, Chameleon Ward, Erin Rotator, Wilkes County Roberts, A-Hol, E-Hol, Clay Yargerblurgh)

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Pity Genovese Mebane, North Carolina

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